ON View of Life through Sercasm- Quotes

Am forced to take upon a lighter or humorous note as my recent entries show me stuck or cursed in excessive frivolousness.Comedy is questioning sarcastically or pinching the reality.Without humour you are totally unequipped to face life.Right from Charlie Chaplin,Bernard Shaw,didis comedy show,Mr.Bean,sardarji jokes and there are huge list of humourist stuff.Few humour attempts below:

Political
Socialism:You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

Communism:Government take both cows and give people the milk.

Democracy:You have 2 cows and both go on strike.

Capitalism:You got 2 cows ,you sell one and buy a bull.

Few of my favorite-devil dictionary
Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Alone, adj. In bad company.
Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think.
Congratulation, n. The civility of envy.
Apologize, v. To lay the foundation for a future offense.
Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.
Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Politeness , n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Success, n. The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
Condemnation:A tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles,but do not equal,our own.