ON Parenting-The factor of recognition and importance to child

Recognition and importance will change your life forever.This has to be be done to the maximum until a child is 21 years of age  as its duty of the parents to do so.Recognition and importance means not fake and artificial fame or adoring or indulge instead its genuine reflection out of the array of contents a child displays on what he is and what good it is honestly ,sincerely and act/ respect to your child ,accordingly which will change his core of personality as confident, self made and standalone survivor until his death. Not namesake superficial food,shelter,pocket money, education,marriage given by parents matters.You do 1000 mantras to god in praise just be one to your child.This is what which enables the child to make and buy food for himself, clean his house and keep things intact, take care of health, find and retain his girl, be good to people, study his education, love himself, make him confident, do his works,be responsible on every little and big things of life-eventually knows what he wants.In-fact my parents gave me love on their own terms and convenience instead of recognition this affects kids and as a result they start freaking out on wrong paths and wrong life which not makes happy,useful for him and people around. In fact this results in seeking attention on wrong source, in my case i started seeking attention and importance through art as i missed  these things in my life. If this recognition not happens to child he has to find himself through calm, deep mind which make him realize and self recognize.If he is too logical he wont give give up seeking attention through people outside as he or she might feel that self evaluation could be wrong and we need to take perception of people as third person view could be more rational than self(self view is self indulgent) who are around as they could have better experience,exposure and knowledge.Any sin is forgettable in this world when realized except for contempt shown on children and exploitation on innocents. The core problem of parents is that they form a impression on their child by their inferiority/superiority complex and pursue the conformance of their impression,the scale of a child is nailed there,this definitely should be avoided. Don't let down a child for what he is not instead be genuine/honest/compassion for what he is for him to develop on what he is and not let down for what he is not.If you stop recognize until he comes to a mark he will give up and never shine in life. Create a environment for them to be interested,compete and positive and perform.Finally the one word is never be careless on your child. Especially educate a child as much as possible,it can never be stolen or lost on their pace,interest,on their terms and parameters and their path to knowledge.When i was a child i used to study only during exams and that thrill,compulsion,challenge enable me to do well until i was grade 8 in school(my mother tells me i was like T.N.Seshan a ex Indian government higher official,but this approach didn't work after grade 8 sadly as background info and context given to me insufficient) and also i understood anything only when background info is sufficient-i wasn't given the thrill,excitement and parameters ,path through which i understood,likewise each child has to be given what is that they wanted understanding them.Create interest for the child to get into life and get into whatever field they or you want to.
Also we had to attack and demand by cornering and creating tension strongly to get things from child that are very essential for survival or good living.We need to be careful on doing these tough things with child as we had to balance on one hand and other hand back-up super strongly. Also we need to do/tell things to child in such  a way that everything should come from the child not a thing should be done by child telling child. We had to mold child by letting go in own way and then bring slowly diverting by putting the path to diver to the parents by creating situations and doing things
accordingly. The gist is here on the eyes of a Lebanon Sanyassi is:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth

Further on this..Recently one of my friend was planning to get married,so he posted his profile in a matrimonial website.Its been like a year,he is yet to find a convincing match.He told me that even though he his well settled with a career and a good salary,his looks and education has been barrier for him to convince the bride and her parents.Not only in marriage perspective,i was just wondering the importance of looks and education in the society. Apart from parents raising the kids with care,love,providing good home,food and health,it is important to take care of their looks and education.Even though looks are not in our control ,50% i guess it is inherited and 50% is in our control to maintain.After all we live in a society which constantly compares and assures them self in the competitive place.Especially i have seen people with bad education,looks having terrible inferiority complex,as a result setting a wall behind them to protect them self by isolation and arrogance.They always feel uncomfortable in presenting them self and getting along with people.This fear leads to poor communication and inter personal skills.It has a big impact in our life. Now the guy i spoke about earlier has fought his life and made a successful career,whereas i know another guy who had a excellent supporting,loving parent,but didn't come up so well ,he was only average.The point am trying to make here is that parents cannot make abdul kalam,narayana murthy or shah rukh khan,its purely on to the kids attitude.But its parents duty to provide them good education,health and career guidance.Parents have a big role in molding a child according to their plus and minus.Just like that we cannot put the blame to kids that they don't do well in studies.The greatest find of our generation is that we can change our life,by changing the attitude.Ever thing in life can be achieved,by the approach we are supposed to follow to achieve that thing,it is just that we need to think and find out the right approach by logical thinking.Even though telling this thing is easy,but to raise a kid need tremendous patience,love,compassion and sacrifice.The sea of humanity is understood deeply only after parenting a child.Let us swim it and find a pearl !!